Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Beginning


Finnegan- begin-again....

Today, I think, it finally dawned on me. I am never going to wake up and just be the person that I want to be, physically or emotionally, without taking some significant steps.

I have been waiting for the day that I feel I am ready, the day that "it's gonna work", the day that I can fit 4 extra hours or some extra energy in somewhere, they day that I have realized, that will ultimately never come.

I don't want to go on a diet. I don't want to exercise. I don't want to count calories or servings or have to think about the food that I eat, or the quantity. I don't want to weigh 245 pounds. (Never thought you would see a woman divulge her weight...lol)

I do want to stop taking 10 medicines a day. I do want to wake up every morning and not feel like a bus has hit me. I do want to sleep through the night without snoring. I do want to be able to walk up to my apartment without being out of breath. I do want to enjoy life. I do want to stick around for a while and enjoy the wonderful people in my life.

I guess the things I want to do outweigh the things I don't.

And there it is. There is the small piece of truth that I will have to use as my "muse" to forge ahead in this quest, because honestly, there is not much else. I have enough energy to get to work, and work for eight hours. I go home and that's about it. And that's just not living.If you have known me for any length of time, you know that my weight has been an issue for almost all of my life. Many people have offered me wonderful tips and hints, but as one of the few lessons I have learned over the years, until someone is ready to deal with a problem, the best thing to do is to love them and pray for them.

I hope you will do that for me. That's what I need the most right now. That's what it's gonna take.

As for this blog, I am not sure what shape it will take. I don't know if it will become a "tips and tricks" forum, or a "this is where I am right now" place, or just a place where I can express myself. I imagine it will become something of a mix of that.

Whatever it will be, I hope you will come along. I sure could use some company for the ride.

B ;)